Category Archives: I make lists

Another Meme? Seriously?

I mean, what is wrong with me? I do it because it’s easy. There. I said it.

So following Aunt Becky’s lead, because I am unoriginal, again, here we go.

Were there too many comma’s in that sentence?

1) What does Meme mean?

I am not even sure how you pronounce it. But it’s a list of questions and answers that nobody really needs to know, but we can’t seem to stop doing. Myself included.

2) 2011 – Was it all you’d hoped it would be?

Um, I guess I’m not that into that kind of thinking. It was OK, I guess.

3) Did you watch the Royal Wedding?

No, not a bit of it.

4) Where are your pants?

I don’t like pants. Ask my husband.

5) Is Justin Bieber human or some sort of robot?

Going with robot. One who may soon self-destruct.

6) If you had only one thing to wish for this coming year, what would it be?

More free time that is not wasted on teh Facebook. Originally I typed Fecebook. That would be gross.

7) Would you call yourself a “social media maven?”

No. No, I don’t think I would.

8 ) If you had to take three things to a desert island (let’s assume you have ample food and water), what would they be?

My one friend who can hunt, kill, and cook anything. Also he can make fires.

A whole library of books.

Solar powered satelite radio.

9) If you had the ability to banish certain offenses to an island where they would be rehabilitated into being okay again, what would those offenses be?

Those with evil ex-wife syndrome.

Those who use apostrophes when they shouldn’t.

People who hurt children and animals. They are all evil, and should actually be sent to a frozen island, maybe more like an iceberg.

Snow. Send it to the iceberg.

10) How do YOU think the air conditioner works?

You flip the little switch on the box on the wall and it makes noise and cools off your house. With fairy dust.

11) Do you ACTUALLY think you can make money blogging?

Me? No. Others, sure.

12) There’s a lot of talk in the blog world about microblogging (The Tumblr, The Twitter, The Facebook) taking over traditional blogs. Do you think that’s the case?

Oh geez. Nothing is going to take over everything. I dislike the whole it all has to be one way or the other type of thinking. I am not into black and white thinking.

13) If you could give one piece of advice to your younger self, what would it be?

Chill out. Just let things happen, man. It is not the end of the world. Unless it’s the end of the world. Then, PARTY LIKE IT’S 1999.

14) If you could’ve told yourself this time last year one thing, what would it be?

The snow always goes away and the sun will come back. Don’t cut yourself over it. (Note, I wasn’t really a cutter, but DAMN do I get bummed out during these northeast Ohio winters.)

15) If you could have one Super Power, what would it be?

I would have a really hard time choosing between flying and invisibility.

16) If you could do one thing you can’t currently do, and do it well, what would it be?

Sing. I’m terrible, and I love it. Singing, not being terrible.

17) What surprises you about yourself?

Seriously, sometimes I am just amazed at the fact that I own a house and a car and a motorcycle and a dog and a husband. Well, I guess I don’t own the husband, slavery is illegal, as well it should be, but you get it.

18) What was your favorite blog post/tweet of the past year?

I don’t know. I don’t really know.

19) Do you REALLY think “Purple Should Be A Flavor?”

Definitely Aunt Becky’s question, but yes, I do agree.

20) If you could make one outlandish wish for 2012, what would it be?

To move where there is never any snow. And where there is an ocean.

Because Aunt Becky Said So.

I’ve done these memes before. I think I might even have one or two on this blog, but I don’t feel like going back and looking right now. Feel free to find it for me, if you like.

But, I’m going to do another one because, truth be told, I kind of like them, and if it’s good enough for Aunt Becky, it’s good enough for me.

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?

Bought a new truck. Well, Mister did. But still, it’s the first time I got to BUY a brand new vehicle, instead of LEASING a brand new vehicle, which is very different, because, you get to keep it when you’re done paying for it.

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don’t think I made any last year. I made the following for this year:

1. No skydiving
2. No bungee jumping
3. No running with the bulls
4. No freebasing

I feel confident I can keep those.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

My sister-in-law.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No. People I knew died, but nobody close.

5. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?

More ambition.

6. What countries did you visit?

Mexico. I heart Mexico. Not the whole drug cartel part of Mexico, but the sandy beaches with ocean breezes and unlimited fruity drinks.

7. What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why:

Yeah, I don’t really remember many exact dates. Only when it’s traumatic. So, I guess, nothing from 2011. 2007, on the other hand…

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Um. The new truck? That’s pretty lame.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Why? What do you know?

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I had a cold last week. Oh, and I hurt something in my foot the first day in Mexico (you cry for me, I know). It still hurts sometimes, and that was in March.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

I guess I should say the truck. But I really like my shoes.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Those guys who killed Osama bin Laden. And their dog.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Congress.

14. Where did most of your money go?

My mortgage. And that damn truck. Taxes. Don’t forget the taxes.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Again, with the Mexico. And summertime. I like summertime.

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?

Huh. I’m not sure.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? Happier.

ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter.

iii. richer or poorer? I guess about the same.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Riding. My motorcycle.

Also, sitting on my deck in the sun watching the birds and reading books. Since I can’t live in Mexico.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Sleeping in. I say that, but I keep doing it. My lack of biological children allows me such luxuries.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

Same way I do every year. With crazy family.

21. There was no #21. We don’t know why there was no 21.

22. Did you fall in love in 2011?

I changed my crush from Bill to Eric on True Blood. Though Alcide is pretty hot. I’m still Team Edward. Toby Keith is still hot in the big dumb hillbilly kind of way.

Did you mean with real people in my real life? No.

23. How many one-night stands?

I’m married. There is no such thing.

24. What was your favorite TV program?

CSI. The Vegas one. Still.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

No.

26. What was the best book you read?

Wow. I read a lot of books. I can’t even remember the names of many of them. I did like the first two Eragon books, even though they’re for kids. Because aren’t we all just big kids even when we’re supposed to be all grown up?

Sick Girl was pretty good. Keeping Faith. Luncheonette. I Totally Meant To Do That. Sweet Potato Queens Book of Love. Nothing Happens Until it Happens to You.

Seriously, I read a lot more. Those just come to mind.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Old Crow Medicine Show.

Lady Gaga (Don’t judge.)

I tend to find music way after the artists first come out.

28. What did you want and get?

To go on vacation.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?

I don’t watch a lot of movies. Super 8 was pretty intense.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I don’t think I did anything special. I guess not since I don’t really remember. Maybe I went out to eat. Thirty-five. I’m now on the downhill slide to forty and it makes me really sad when I think about it. So thanks for that.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

More money?

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?

If it is comfortable, wear it. Maybe I am in love with my yoga pants.

34. What kept you sane?

Paroxetine.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Lady Gaga.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

Senate Bill 5.

37. Who did you miss?

I don’t know. I miss a lot of people. My old friends I don’t see much anymore, because I suck at keeping in touch because I think nobody really wants to hear from me.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

The girl who works at the new restaurant where we go for cheap tacos on Tuesdays.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011:

To just let things happen, because worrying about them won’t change the outcome. I still struggle with that. It’s so hard to not worry.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

Everyday I’m shuffling.

Hmm?

So, one thing about this medication thing is that my mind is quieter. That means that I have a lot less to say. And when I do say something, it makes more sense. And, I think, that makes me kind of boring.

Well, hell.

I ain’t never been popular anyway. Why start now?

So, instead, I shall generate a list (which may be brief) of things that have happened recently. Maybe more for my own recording purposes (I am SO bad at that whole diary thing. Still. Seriously.) than for the whole two people who read me. (Hi!. thanks for reading me! REALLY!!!!!)

1. My mother-in-law passed away. Sad. Very. It was a long time coming. My father-in-law is very sad. More so than people think. Don’t tell Mr. (oops.)

2. We are going to spread her ashes next week. If the weather holds. (Do we still live in Ohio? Because holy hell, it should be snowing by now.)

3. Ashes do not look like ashes. You can see bone fragments. Creepy.

4. My niece is going to be one (1!) soon. OMG. I have a niece. My brother’s baby. Holy cow, when did we grow up?

5. She smells like lavender.

6. She likes when Mr. holds her.

7. Because she can grab his scary biker goatee.

8. I’m going to go measure it, hold on… 4 1/4″. I rike it.

9. Um…brain fart.

10. I bought a book to teach myself to crochet.  Because I am a dork.  And knitting?  Yeah, that needs TWO needles. Crochet = one needle.  If I need to hold two, how will I drink my beer?

11.  Tomorrow?  I buy pumpkins!

12.  Nothing.  Just couldn’t leave my list at an odd number.

An Interview with a Girl. *UPDATED*

Molly at HolaMole offered to ask bloggers five questions if they were willing to be interviewed for this meme. Since I like to talk about myself, I volunteered and I’m going to answer them. But first, I need some time to ponder. I shall update soon.

From Molly:

Here you go JAG:
1.It seems you have a very technical job. Do you love it, or what would you rather do?

A: The short answer is no, I do not love my job. There are aspects of it that I enjoy, but there are many things that I dislike, but it has more to do with management than it does with my actual job description. I don’t have a degree, and most of what I know is self taught or learned by example. Therefore, I spend a lot of time wondering how to fix something, or how to set up something, or why something just doesn’t make sense to me, and that gets frustrating. If I could, I would leave, but those pesky bills keep getting in the way of that plan. What I would really enjoy is to own my own business that catered to women. I’ve gone through phases, ever since I was a teenager, when I thought to myself that I would really like to own a bookstore, or a gift shop, or a flower shop, or a lingerie store, and ultimately, I thought it would be really cool to do all of the above. Everything that women like (well, women that are like me, I guess). Collectibles, antiques, an area to sit and read and drink coffee or wine, chat with other women, bitch about men, or whatever they like. A place to escape, even if just for an hour, in between the laundry an the cooking and the soccer games. I would also like to make it man-friendly, to help out all those clueless men out there who think they’re women would really like that new vacuum cleaner or toaster oven for their birthdays or that dental floss outfit they think SO HOT (Yeah, if we looked like Jenna Jameson, you know, before she got all anorexic), and guide them toward things that a woman really would like to receive. A pretty flower arrangement, instead of just roses. Practical jewelry. Lingerie that covers the areas they want to cover (hello! We don’t all want to look like porn stars!) and shows the areas they want to show. A personal love letter. I would even help them write it. That sort of thing. I just haven’t figured out how to actually make money doing this. And the startup costs would kill me.

2.On a snowy, winter Saturday with no obligations what do you do?

A: Winter makes me sad. It is so cold and dreary in Ohio in the winter. If I’m not going out with the Mr. and our group, I like to sit at home, in my comfy flannel PJs and play some games or watch a movie and drink some wine.

3. Would you rather travel inside the US or outside? Where would you go?

A: There are a lot of places in and out of the US I’d like to see. California is one, because I’ve never been there. I’d like to see Hollywood and LA and San Francisco. But the best getaway for me is the Caribbean. I have been there once and loved it loved it loved it. The weather and the palm trees and the beach are just fabulous. I can forget about life just by staring out at the water. You can’t be sad in a place like that. It’s too beautiful.

4.What type of bike do you own and is your first?

A: I have a 2006 Harley Davidson XL 1200L Sportster Low. This is my second bike. My first was a Suzuki GZ-250 that I bought when my jackass ex-husband bought his crotch rocket death machine. I never rode on that thing, refused to, and was pissed because I was the one that wanted a motorcycle since I was about 12 years old. So I bought the Suzuki off of my friend’s wife and my brother taught me how to ride it. The first time I had it on the road, I freaked because there was so much wind in my face I couldn’t breathe. I got a helmet with a face shield on it and was good to go after that. I would ride with some friends I met that all had Harleys and they would always have to wait up for me because the damn thing just didn’t have the horsepower to keep up. Then I met the Mr., and started riding with him on his FatBoy, so I sold the Suzuki. I didn’t think I’d miss it, but I just couldn’t handle riding bitch. At first his man-pride didn’t want me to ever ride on my own again, but he got over that and bought me the Sportster last year for my birthday. And not the 883, the 1200, because he knew I’d want the horsepower. I was a bit nervous when I first started riding again. I had ridden his a few times, and it was WAY too big for me and I dumped it. That kind of killed my confidence, but now I’m good. We rode to Indianapolis last year for the race. That’s the farthest I’ve ridden yet. I can’t wait to get back to Sturgis to ride out there.

5.Now that you are into your 30th year on earth what are 2 of your biggest plans/dreams in the next 30 years.

A: My first big plan, as of now anyway, is to move south. Or southwest. We have to wait until the Mr,’s girls are out of school, but that’s ok because it gives me time to plan. I want to live where it doesn’t snow. And no, I won’t miss the change of seasons. And I’ll decorate a palm tree for Christmas.

My second plan is to really figure out what I want to do with myself. I know I won’t be staying at my company forever, especially since we plan on moving in a few years, but I don’t want to work for “the man” for the rest of my life. My parents are self employed and, while they have their share of headaches, I envy the freedom they have by only having to answer to their customers because they are the bosses.. I want that.

So there you go. That was fun. If anybody wants me to ask them some questions, leave me a comment and I’ll post them there for you.

It’s not good.

This morning I:

Woke up late, after not falling to sleep until after 1 AM.

Didn’t have any donut sticks for my coffee.

Spilled my only cup of coffee all over the kitchen floor.

Still had a sinus headache that just won’t quit.

Heard on the drive in that it was ten degrees.  Ten.

What else will go wrong?

I get to it when I get to it, mmm-kay?

I have absolutely no follow-through. I can think of so many things I would like to try, but I never do, mainly because I know I will never finish what I start, or I will end up with a bunch of stuff that will have me saying “well, NOW what do I do with all this?” Below, is a list (I make lists!) of things I have tried in not exactly random order. Things I thought were fabulous ideas! I need a hobby! This will be the one! I need a project! This sounds great! Woo! And then, nothing. I just stopped doing it. Didn’t finish the book. Didn’t understand. Heck, maybe I just bought whatever it was I thought would be so great, and then never did anything with it. Oh, it’s bad.

1. Self-Hypnosis
2. Tarot
2. Wicca
3. Runes
4. Feng Shui

(There is a slight pattern here, yes. I was very much into not being into organized religion because I just don’t get it, and also I have always been a “hey, look at me and what I am doing!” kind of person, and these were all things that the people around me found threatening, or worrisome, or at least different enough that they would take notice. “Where are you going, j?” “Oh, just off to hypnotize myself.” These activities, in addition to my completely black attire at the time, made a few suspect me of being some sort of Satan-worshipping cat-killing drug-addled freak, but no, I was not.)

(Also, I would like to note that I actually could do the self-hypnosis, through muscle relaxation, and thought-focusing, involving colors, fade-to-black, and it was super for relaxation. I can’t do it anymore, and Lord, I wish I could, because I am a super-stress machine now.)

4. Coin collecting
5. Photography
6. Beanie Babies (shut. up.)
7. Glass collecting (like carnival, milk, and depression)
8. Scrapbooking
9. Jewelry making
10. Sewing

(The sewing one is bad. I actually convinced the Mr. that I needed that sewing machine, like, a year ago, and I have NEVER USED IT. Not once. I still WANT to. I just don’t know where to start. Maybe curtains. I just don’t know when. 2010, maybe?)

These don’t even include the thoughts I have about things I would like to do and just never do. I will probably watch HGTV the rest of my freaking life and still never do one thing I see on that channel. Like my shadowbox, the vacation pictures that need framed, my wedding album – uh, do I even have printed copies of those pictures? Add that to my list…

It also doesn’t count the things I want to try that I haven’t yet spent money to start. Thank goodness. Like knitting, or that hanging lamp idea, or what about the embroidery?

And so it goes.

I am pathetic. There has got to be a medication for people like me.

Cuz I’m a traveling man.

Some things where I want to go before I bite it.
by me.

1. Visit an IKEA store. The Pittsburgh store is only about 100 miles from me, and there is also one in Michigan that is north of Dundee. So the Mr. could go to Cabela’s and I could go to IKEA. See how I am always thinking of others? I’m nice that way. And then we can get that hotel room with the big bed with all the pillows and also with the jacuzzi. And some wine.

2. Route 66. Like, the WHOLE thing. Starting in Chicago and ending in Cali-forn-i-a. I want a lot of weeks for this one, so I can take my sweet time along the way, stopping whenever and wherever I want. And I also will want no rain. Because rain + motorcycle = soggy bottoms. Divide that by me and you get crabby wet pants girl.

3. Belize. All because of that stupid House Hunters episode on HGTV. Because that lady had a beach in her back yard. And a laptop. And a chair. So her office was the beach. That makes my office suck. A lot. Plus, I almost fell in my parking lot this morning. I’m sure it was quite entertaining for anyone who saw my little dance. I did one of those things where your keep kicking your feet out in front of you, trying to find grip while not dropping your purse and lunch and coffee. And then I did an awkward twisty thing, caught my balance and hurt my knee. Fuck you, black ice. Fuck you, Ohio.

4. Ashtabula. Don’t raise your eyebrows at that one. Mr.’s family hails from mighty Ashtabula, and he wants to check out the area again. So that would be ok, I like to hear his stories from before I knew him. Which sometimes also happens to be from before I was even born, but whatever. There I go being all interested in someone else’s something. See? Nice.

5. Googleplex.  For real. I am so not even smart enough to even be a janitor there, but I just can’t believe how cool it sounds. They have sand volleyball. And lava lamps. And pool tables. And windows. And lots of food. And other stuff that just sounds so fun it has to be make believe. Like Mister Roger’s make believe. I just want to see it, just once. I swear I won’t touch anything. But I might look out a window, just to see what it is like. Plus my poor lava lamp is banished to the closet because it isn’t cool. Says who, Mr. stuck-in-the-eighties? Here’s a secret. Perms are NOT in style. I refuse.

6. Sturgis. Again. This time with a bike that isn’t broken on the second day. Because driving a truck around just isn’t the same. Good thing we got married there, or it would have been a total waste of a trip. I’m kidding! It was awesome. But I didn’t get to see Devil’s Tower or Mount Rushmore, which I hear aren’t really all they’re cracked up to be, but I’m an American, I’m supposed to see these things and say “Ooooh!”

7. Las Vegas. Again. Just because it is Vegas and I like staying up all night and sleeping all day and you can do that because did you know there are no clocks anywhere? So you don’t know when it is time to go to bed? Isn’t that great? And also because the two times I did go it was with people that kind of suck so I really didn’t have much fun with the first person and the second person seriously does not have the same ideas as me about vacationing in Vegas. Lying out by the pool? Um, yeah, I’d go on a beach vacation if I wanted to just sit around and get a tan. There is too much for me to see in Vegas to waste a whole entire day by the pool.

8. Dominican Republic. Again. Do I even need a reason? Because I could give you at least seventy-four. Thousand.