Who drinks coffee at 1:30 AM? This girl!

Below is a list I made for mi madre for Christmas. She does this thing where she creates care packages, in addition to our regular gifts. It’s actually kind of awesome.

She sends me a generic list of ideas for household gifts, and I specify what I prefer. So, for your boredom, here is my list.

Also, if you are a mother of a child who does not live at home, you should try this. The childrens will most likely appreciate it. I know I do. My mother’s suggestions are in italics.

Deodorants – Old Spice (Fiji if they have it), Dove – anything but powder scent

Cleaners – floor, tubs, etc. – Works brand. Spray, toilet stuff, whatever. Also, anything that cleans my kitchen sink. Comet? Pine Sol or equivalent for floors. Car Wash, whatever’s cheap. Mister washes his truck every Sunday. It’s his church.

Dish Soap – Palmolive Pure & Clear

Dishwasher Soap – Palmolive eco

Laundry Detergent – Purex Naturals

Softener – Dryer sheets. Any scent but unscented.

Paper Towels – Bounty (Boulder at Aldi. Do you ever shop at Aldi? Because you can get good stuff there! Their meat is really good! But they don’t have 1% milk in gallon jugs. Only drawback for us.)

Wipes – Any brand, so long as they kill germs. I use a lot of those. I hope they bio-degrade. Otherwise, the polar bears hate me. Which sucks, because I’ve seen how big their claws are.

Toilet Paper – Cottenelle

Batteries – AA and AAA

Shampoo/Conditioner – Garnier for colored hair

Hand Soap – foaming and regular refills, any scent

Snacks – Hull-less popcorn, Shear’s Kettle Cooked regular chips, Rice Krispy snacks, Red Vines (I can only find these at Wal-Mart. If you find them elsewhere, do notify me). I’ve banned myself from snacks, so those are really for Mister. Unless you want to toss in a bag of BBQ Pork Rinds in Papaw’s memory. Or Reese’s cups. Because who can resist Reese’s? Papaw would be happy.

** editors note: Papaw is my deceased grandfather. He was awesome.**

Beverages – Diet Mt. Dew and Diet 7 Up, Folger’s Black Silk Coffee, Dunkin Donuts Original Coffee, Diet Peach Snapple, Torani Sugar Free Caramel Syrup (for my coffee)

Kitchen Staples – What? Am I supposed to cook? OK. Olive oil. Canned mushrooms. Cream of mushroom soup. Canned turkey chili. Baked beans. Are these staples? I don’t even know what that means!

Toothpaste – Crest 3D White Vivid

Candles, Air Fresheners, Etc. – Walmart ones, again, nothing flowery (unless it’s lilac. I love that scent because of that lilac bush that was outside my window when I was a kid). Also, those Glade candles are pretty great. Febreeze is supposed to have a bunch of new spray scents. I’d like those, I think.

Spices, Seasonings, Sauces – Zesty Free Italian Dressing, Onion Soup Mix

Band-aids, etc. – Yes to Bandaids, Men’s and Women’s general vitamins. Vitamin D. Aspirin (the regular 325, or the baby 81 mg. One’s for Mister, one’s for me.)

Anything else – Men’s shaving gel, Kleenex, Swiffer duster refills, Dirt Devil bags, Chocolate slim fast (I buy the generic! Clearly, it should be called slim slow.) Q-tips, Soft toothbrushes, Sponges, Cedar wood thingies to put in the closet. (I can’t think of what they’re really called. But I don’t have a cedar chest and I like the smell, and I know you can buy these things that go on your hangers). A million dollars. How about you just don’t leave everything to someone who’s not your kid, like Mr. Enis might do? Harsh? Oops. Did I tell you I’m getting a will written so the girls don’t get screwed? His potential actions have inspired me.

I should really write a book about these family things.

Did I digress?

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