As the shit hits the fan. Or, a look at the life of a second-wife.

Two weekends ago, the Mister and I went to his brother’s house to assist in repairing his brick and concrete steps and walkway, and also to set up his new laptop, modem and wireless router. The first was more the Mister assisting, and the latter was all me.  Teh child decided that would be boring, and was staying home.  Teh child has a rule that nobody – except family – is to enter the house when we are not home.  This is because teh child has some unsavory associates in the neighborhood, and I rather like my jewelry and electronics where they are, thank you very much.

Teh child is a straight-A student, has already taken the ACT, and scored high enough that she will be taking a full college course load her junior year in high school.  She’ll have an Associates degree by the time she graduates by following this path.  She is only a freshman now.

Unfortunately, she has some of her mother in her.  From her mother, she received “The Stupid”.

The Stupid is a tough thing to cure. It is hard to undo years of Stupid training and example. Especially when you can’t say to teh child, “Look.  Your mother is an idiot.  She is a complete moron who, at 40 years of age, still cannot take care of herself.  And she passed that stupid on to you, and we are trying to fix it with something called ‘Common Sense’.”  You can’t tell her that because she is a child of divorce, and she loves her mom, and you shouldn’t tell children not to love their mothers just because they are really, really stupid.  Even if the mother says really bad things about the father and step-mother.  Oh, and tells lies.  That, too.

So, teh child has The Stupid, and that caused her to break the rules.  Rules were broken, several rules.  And then, The Stupid also caused her to leave mountains of evidence that rules were broken.  Which caused her to get caught.

And boy, did she get caught.

I’m leaving out the details, but lets just say there were boys and girls in our house, when we weren’t home, and much teenage debauchery.  Most of which could land a few, if not all of those kids in detention, or at least to a day in court.  Not to mention if one of those kids got hurt, what could have happened if a parent of one of those kids decided to sue us or press charges.

Needless to say, teh child is now grounded.  There was no phone for a week (OMG the WORST thing you can do to a teenager EVER SHE ALMOST DIED), there is still no Internet, there are no friends coming to our house, she isn’t going anywhere (unless it’s with her stupid mother, or her sister – who also acquired The Stupid from living with her mother – which we wish we could stop) and she isn’t staying home alone for a long while.

At least until we feel we can trust her.  Who knows how long that will take?

Her mother, of course, is no help in this situation, having lectured the Mister about teh child’s right to privacy.  This was because the Mister basically turned the child’s room UPSIDE DOWN after speaking to the grandmother of one of the girls that was in our house and learning there may be some things in teh child’s possession which, legally, teh child is not allowed to possess.  Did I mention she is only 14?  Yeah.  14.  There is no right to privacy when you break the rules like this.

These things have been stressing me out.  I’ve run the gamut on emotions.  Anger.  Sadness. Fear.  Crying my eyeballs out. Thoughts of ‘what in the hell did I get myself into, marrying a guy with kids that have an idiot mother?’

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not saying it’s all their mom’s fault, but, it sure would help if she would act like a parent, not a BFF.  Oh, and if she wouldn’t trash the father and me to her kids.  That would help too.

But this has been tough for me.  I haven’t been sleeping well, and that has caught up with me.  My glands started feeling swollen yesterday, I don’t know what that’s all about.  It’s moved from the right side to the left, which is the normal progression of a sore throat for me, so I’m thinking tomorrow I might feel better.  Last night I fell asleep on the couch while the Mister and I were watching TV.  I snored so loudly I scared myself, and the Mister told me I should probably just go to bed.  I did.  It was maybe 8 o’clock?  8:30?  I slept until this morning – didn’t even get up to pee – and then I turned off my alarm and ended up being 4 minutes late for work.  I still feel a little out of it, but generally better.  The tension between my shoulder blades isn’t quite as bad.

And tonight, I have Thirsty Thursday with a coworker.  We will drink a couple (few?) fermented beverages, eat something that came from a deep fryer and complain about boys and exes and pretty much anything else that is bothering us.  Maybe we should start calling it Thirsty Thursday Therapy.  I should make up T-shirts.

~anstasia can’t wait.


2 responses to “As the shit hits the fan. Or, a look at the life of a second-wife.

  1. Is life back to normal now or has the turmoil escalated?

    • We are pretty much back to normal now. Her dad just ungrounded her this weekend, so we are just trying to give her chances to win back trust. Oy.

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