What? I can’t just pop right back in?

Yeah.  So teh new mom thing kind of took some adjustment.  But it’s all good.  To anyone who still checks in, sorry, and thanks for checking!

That being said…here are some things I have learned, since acquiring an insta-family.

My personal collections, all of the things I ever had a mild interest in and of which I decided to acquire several versions over the past, uh, 31 years, are considered by others to be JUNK. And they don’t really have a home, since we had to downsize and I had to give up all the extra storage space in the old house. Now, I hear, “Mom. When are you going to get rid of the wall of junk? WHAT IS all that stuff?” Hush child. It is my stuff. It’s hiding the mold on the basement walls. And stop listening to your father. He is old and doesn’t know any better.

Nobody covers books with paper bags anymore. OMG. Who are you trying to embarrass? Srsly. Paper bags? People will think you are poor! One must buy book covers. Cloth book covers. But, I suppose, since most people ask for plastic grocery bags now (Polar bear haters!), paper bags aren’t readily available from the hallway closet anymore… At least said book covers are washable.

There is a point in time, when you no longer care if your shoes came from Payless, and your shirt came from Goodwill, and oops, you forgot to put on eyeliner today, did you brush your hair before you left for work? That point does not come when you are 14. That point comes where you are in your 30s, and it is a nice feeling to not be concerned about such things because you remember being concerned about such things at 14 and it sucked. (OMG, you got that from KMART? I am not wearing it. At all. Ever.) Yes you will. And you will be in your 30s, and you will be wondering why in the frick it is such a big deal to a teenager, because, hello, it was only seven dollars. Why pay ten times more for the same thing at the mall. Until you remember you were there once too. And there was a difference. And you will also realize that you are becoming your mother. Except for the whole crazy part. Right?

Also? If a trip is planned, an otherwise always healthy kid shall require a trip to the ER on the morning of planned trip. That? That is Murphy’s Law, folks. And I always obey the law…


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