Cuz I’m a traveling man.

Some things where I want to go before I bite it.
by me.

1. Visit an IKEA store. The Pittsburgh store is only about 100 miles from me, and there is also one in Michigan that is north of Dundee. So the Mr. could go to Cabela’s and I could go to IKEA. See how I am always thinking of others? I’m nice that way. And then we can get that hotel room with the big bed with all the pillows and also with the jacuzzi. And some wine.

2. Route 66. Like, the WHOLE thing. Starting in Chicago and ending in Cali-forn-i-a. I want a lot of weeks for this one, so I can take my sweet time along the way, stopping whenever and wherever I want. And I also will want no rain. Because rain + motorcycle = soggy bottoms. Divide that by me and you get crabby wet pants girl.

3. Belize. All because of that stupid House Hunters episode on HGTV. Because that lady had a beach in her back yard. And a laptop. And a chair. So her office was the beach. That makes my office suck. A lot. Plus, I almost fell in my parking lot this morning. I’m sure it was quite entertaining for anyone who saw my little dance. I did one of those things where your keep kicking your feet out in front of you, trying to find grip while not dropping your purse and lunch and coffee. And then I did an awkward twisty thing, caught my balance and hurt my knee. Fuck you, black ice. Fuck you, Ohio.

4. Ashtabula. Don’t raise your eyebrows at that one. Mr.’s family hails from mighty Ashtabula, and he wants to check out the area again. So that would be ok, I like to hear his stories from before I knew him. Which sometimes also happens to be from before I was even born, but whatever. There I go being all interested in someone else’s something. See? Nice.

5. Googleplex.  For real. I am so not even smart enough to even be a janitor there, but I just can’t believe how cool it sounds. They have sand volleyball. And lava lamps. And pool tables. And windows. And lots of food. And other stuff that just sounds so fun it has to be make believe. Like Mister Roger’s make believe. I just want to see it, just once. I swear I won’t touch anything. But I might look out a window, just to see what it is like. Plus my poor lava lamp is banished to the closet because it isn’t cool. Says who, Mr. stuck-in-the-eighties? Here’s a secret. Perms are NOT in style. I refuse.

6. Sturgis. Again. This time with a bike that isn’t broken on the second day. Because driving a truck around just isn’t the same. Good thing we got married there, or it would have been a total waste of a trip. I’m kidding! It was awesome. But I didn’t get to see Devil’s Tower or Mount Rushmore, which I hear aren’t really all they’re cracked up to be, but I’m an American, I’m supposed to see these things and say “Ooooh!”

7. Las Vegas. Again. Just because it is Vegas and I like staying up all night and sleeping all day and you can do that because did you know there are no clocks anywhere? So you don’t know when it is time to go to bed? Isn’t that great? And also because the two times I did go it was with people that kind of suck so I really didn’t have much fun with the first person and the second person seriously does not have the same ideas as me about vacationing in Vegas. Lying out by the pool? Um, yeah, I’d go on a beach vacation if I wanted to just sit around and get a tan. There is too much for me to see in Vegas to waste a whole entire day by the pool.

8. Dominican Republic. Again. Do I even need a reason? Because I could give you at least seventy-four. Thousand.


One response to “Cuz I’m a traveling man.

  1. I would love to tour the Googleplex, too. I sat in a coffee shop in Palo Alto a couple of years ago and got goosebumps listening to the conversation around me. HP this, Adobe that, Intel blahblahblah. I’m invisable since I’m so old, and the conversation was open and free.

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