I thought that this year was supposed to be the worst hurricane season in, like, 10 years or something. Worst than last year, several hurricanes like Katrina, total devastation to many areas.

Well? Did I miss something? I admit I haven’t been watching the news as often – too depressing and frustrating – but I think I would have heard from coworkers, family, the innernets, my dog, someone!

But I haven’t.

Gee. Perhaps everyone just FREAKED OUT again, just like America is wont to do.

I wonder what the next hype will be… Let’s see, it’s going to be winter soon, hmmm, maybe skyrocketing oil costs? Or, no! No firewood for you Mister! We are quarantining the counties that we have confirmed the emerald ash borer beetle have been found. No wood can be transported! I don’t care if you heat your house with a woodburning stove! Because, you know, those pesky beetles are killing all the ash trees, but they won’t cross the county line. And if we let you heat your house, it will be your fault when all those trees die.

If it were summer, it could be shark attacks. Stay out of the ocean. Or West Nile – watch for drunk birds and don’t go outside. The mosquitos will kill you, man. Or skin cancer – don’t go in the sun your face will fry off!!!!

Maybe the global warming kick will move back into high gear. Because it’s 43 degrees here in the middle of October and THAT JUST ISN’T RIGHT MAN.
Or, it’ll just be something new, something to really get people’s panties all in a bunch. Something really creative. It’s going to have to be. Everything normal has already caused panic.


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