My SIL is having a baby shower in a few weeks, hosted by her mom and someone else in her family, maybe her SIL? I’ll have to check my invite. It’s at their church. Because her family is really religious – Baptist to be precise – and they own the church. And the rec center across the street. And the two houses next door. Her dad is the reverend. I prefer to call him a hypocrite. I think they use religion for their own personal gain, and I base this feeling on all of the gifts they have received from the parishioners. Like the reverend’s brand new $16,000 motorcycle, among other things. That was just given to him by someone at the church. Pisses me right the hell off. He’s got quite a racket going, if you ask me.Today, I made the mistake of mentioning the shower to a coworker, who also happens to be a self-righteous, holier-than-thou, bible-thumping virgin baptist. She was just apalled that they were having the shower at the church because my brother is all non-baptist, non-churchgoing, non-preachy, and you know, normal. Or the spawn of satan. I think she was thinking more spawn and less normal. She went on to tell me how they never even should have been able to get married in that church, and really they shouldn’t even be married at all or having a baby given the horrible circumstances, one of which being the spawn of satan thing. I told her my hypocrite theory. She didn’t really like that.
The thing I don’t really understand is why people like her have to be so quick to tell you how they feel about their religion. I don’t do that about my lack-of-religion. I don’t care what you do or don’t believe. So why should they care what I believe. I’m not really hurting them, am I? But people like her seem like they just have to say something or they will burst, or perhaps they are just trying to justify their feelings because maybe, just maybe, they have a little bit of doubt that what they believe might not be right, but if they repeat it enough, it will be true. Because seriously, folks, we don’t know who’s right. We can’t all be right. Someone is definitely wrong. A lot of someones. But don’t try to tell her type that. Because they aren’t the ones that are wrong. EVERYONE ELSE in the whole wide world that does not believe what they believe are wrong. Jewish? Wrong! Catholic? Wrong! Muslim? Wrong! Mormon? Wrong! Flying Spaghetti Monster? Wrong! Et cetera, et cetera? YOU ARE ALL WRONG.
Then they will try to save you. They want to you come to their church, and see it it from a fresh perspective. And maybe talk to their pastor, because “he’s so nice and so down to earth.” Or maybe you could just come to their bible study one night. Hey afterwards, they sometimes hang out and eat pizza and play monopoly! No thank you. I’m sure it’s all very fun for some. And I’m sure the pastor is a really nice guy. You know, for a cult leader. How’s that brainwashing thing working for you, by the way?*
I’m more of a live and let live kind of person. I like that better. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. And if I’m wrong, well hey, feel free to say ‘I told you so, sinner!’ while shoving me through the gates of hell. I won’t mind. I’ll have bigger things to worry about.
Like being the outcast at my SIL’s baby shower. I hope my brother is there to help absorb the glares, stares and looks of pity for our poor souls. Or lack thereof.
*I’m sure this will be offensive to some. That was not my intention. Sorry.