1. I forgot my cold medicine this morning. It’s on the bathroom counter. I cannot breathe through my nose.
2. Sorry to the person I pissed off this morning. I should keep my worries to myself. After all, it’s my problem, not yours. Take comfort in knowing I can’t breathe today and my ears are plugged up. Hey, you don’t have a voodoo doll, do you? Seriously, I’ll just be here fucking myself, as requested.